…wreacking havoc. I have to blog this in english, thats part of my commitment to bring some culture to those fucking Texans. But I’ll start from the beginning.
Once i thought, i’d had a friend with LexaT, though he uses to humiliate me on- and offline. I believed in him, nevertheless, i had the true opinion, deep in his heart, he’s a good guy. I did so until Monday.
I arrived to work as i usually do, happy, motivated, willing to improve the world. And then LexaT asked me if i could use some holiday. I said, thats his decision, and he said, well, it is. We have this damned yankee, and she wants to visit Cologne and the Dome, and as well some southern german towns, so take her to Tuebingen, you studied there, its said to be pretty, and after noon you’re on holiday until Thursday.
That was that. And yes, we went on our journey, and it brought me to the deepest precipices of desperation.
I had to travel to cologne with her first, we visited the dome and i actually knew more religious vocabulary in english than she did (i had to explain „transubstantiation „). I used to trust in american fundamentalism, but you can’t bet on that. Believe me.
OK, we went further on to Tuebingen, after we had one happy moment: we do not only take the same medicals, we both like gargoyles too. Everything else: total catastrophe. She hates Pink Floyd, she hates the Doors, she hates KMFDM (as i found out later) and she disgusted when i was smoking. Imagine a blonde, aryan looking texan woman telling you that you’re a fool to smoke and that you’re listening to shitty music. And you have to give *this* woman some tourist trip, information, culture, stuff and so on. I even had to look for a place to sleep for her, though everything was, well, very spontaneous and everything should stay relaxed.
Well, it didn’t. We arrived in Tuebingen, it was dark, raining and i contacted brutzel, a friend of mine, and we met at the train station. He was trying to get us a place to sleep at an ex-Fraternity where he used to live. Luckily enough, he really managed to do so. After some walking in the rain, from closed hotel number one to closed hotel number two and so on.
Picture: Yankee desecrating the Statue of Graf Eberhard im Bart, Founder of the University of Tuebingen
The following two days were some kind of collage of „I’m thirsty“, „I need some non-sparkling water“, „My stomach hurts“, „Thats not a pretty part of the town. Why are we here?“, „Shut the fuck up“, „I’d like to meet Boris again, he’s nice“, „I have to repack my backpack“, „I’m hungry“, „I don’t know what to order“, „It’s cold“, „My trousers get wet“, „Can you get me the recipe of those Maultaschen?“ and so on and so on.
Everything was quite difficult. I think i managed it somehow, but when we went back to Bochum, there was this stop in Stuttgart, where i thought, ok, thats a different culture. We may use the same drugs, we may be interested in SEO, and (as we found out) we even have both an agricultural background. But we went to the old castle in Stuttgart and she did this:
There are people with no respect for anything. I met one of those. They come from Texas, and don’t trust their green eyes and neither trust their blonde hair.